The Pony Who Wanted to be a Real Puppet

Big Macintosh wiped the sweat from his brow and quietly wondered what in Equestria he might have done to the princess to deserve such a blazing heat on the day he had to plow the fields. Looking up at the clear blue sky the sun seemed to gaze down upon him with radiant glee. It was a day more suited to lounging under an apple tree with a cold mug of cider than working the fields, but work was work and it all had to be done. The big pony moved his straw to the other side of his mouth in a determined expression and continued his slow trot over the field, the plow leaving a deep cut in his wake. If he worked hard he could be done before dinner and enjoy the rest of the evening under that tree. A reward for hard work well done was always welcome.

Working the fields was a slow and monotonous task which left the stallion with ample time for daydreaming, something he often did. And as usual these days he found his thoughts drawn to the raggedy doll riding along on his sturdy back. He smiled to himself despite the hard work. "Eeyup, yours is an easy life, miss Smartypants." As his hooves trotted along in the field his mind drifted off to stranger places, imagining all the possible lives of a doll or a puppet. If he was a puppet, he could be anything. One day a humble work horse, the next a great adventurer seeking glory and gold in mystical lands, or a grand vizier in the court of the princesses. Such tales the telling of which he could be a part of. Endless possibilities, if only he was a puppet.

"Eeyup!" he drawled. The more he thought about it, the more it always felt like the life of a puppet was the life for him. What a curse it seemed to have been born a simple pony when he could have been a real puppet in a real play. His daydreaming, however, was abruptly shattered by a cry from above.

"Look out below!" came a drawn out voice moments before a rainbow blur streaked past him and crashed into the ground, plowing violently through the field before coming to a stop several yards away under the shadow of a big chestnut tree which stubbornly refused to step aside for anypony.

Big Macintosh stared with a slack-jawed expression at the massive ravine of rocks and dirt that had appeared in his beautifully plowed field. Resetting his jaw into a firm scowl he released himself from the plow and strode purposefully along the ravine to the crash site under the chestnut tree. Sticking his hoof into the crater he pulled out a grinning pegasus. "Rainbow Dash! What have you got to say for yourself?" he asked, throwing his head in the direction of the wrecked fields.

The rainbow mare grinned apologetically. "Heh heh, uh, sorry about that?" She rubbed her shoulder a little at the stare she received. "We were just having a friendly welcome-to-the-weather-team match of sky polo for this new pegasus, and I wanted to show her how it's done here in Ponyville. Heh, I guess I overdid it."

Big Macintosh switched the straw to the other side of his mouth. "I bet you did," he said and turned around, dragging her with him back towards the plow.

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Uh … where are we going?"

He sat her down by the plow and took off his harness, throwing it over her shoulders. "You're gonna fix your own mess," he said and pointed a hoof at the ravished field.

Rainbow Dash sank a little under the heavy harness, which was at least several sizes too large for her. "Oh, I-I'm no work horse. It would take me forever." She chuckled a little uncertainly.

"Well, you better get started then," Big Macintosh said plainly, and added "Iron Pony."

"Come on. I'm sorry." Rainbow Dash's ears drooped. "You can't be serious … Are you serious?"

"Eeyup! Dead serious."

***

"So uh, thanks for the drink," Rainbow Dash said.

Big Macintosh just gave a single nod of his head as he took a swig of his cider. The field was once again nicely plowed, and the two ponies were taking a well deserved rest under the big chestnut tree, each with a chilled apple cider, enjoying the last rays of sunlight. Big Macintosh found himself once again adrift in the lands of puppets, this time playing a noble knight with his loyal friend Smartypants by his side. He sighed at the thought of the great quests they would undertake together.

"You seem a little blue," he heard Rainbow Dash say. "Not that being blue is bad, you know, 'cause it's such an awesome color," the pegasus continued, apparently having lost the initial line of thought in the boastful rambling that followed. Big Macintosh opened his eyes and gave her a quizzical look. Rainbow Dash grinned, "anyway, you all right there buddy?"

Big Macintosh returned to his half-slumber. "None of your business. You'll just laugh at me, like you did with my Smartypants doll."

Rainbow Dash chuckled and gave the stallion a friendly jab on the shoulder. "Hey, it's all in good fun. You know I never meant anything with it. It's just a little funny the way you carry her around all the time. So what's the deal, big guy?"

"You wouldn't understand," Big Macintosh said.

The rainbow pony lit up. "That sounds like a challenge! Try me."

Big Macintosh sat up with a sigh. "Sometimes I wish I was … different, that I was something else," he said a little evasively as he glanced down at the old, raggedy doll leaned against the tree next to him.

Rainbow Dash followed his gaze and pondered the answer, a look of surprise understanding on her face. "Really? Wow … I, you know, just between you and me, I've always felt kinda the same. I didn't know you … I mean …" She broke off and smiled. "But hey, you shouldn't be so sad about it. I always thought I was different and, you know, wrong, but then at flight camp I met this really cool person …" her eyes showed a brief sadness, "well, she WAS cool … anyway, she showed me that I wasn't alone and that my dream was worth following. Maybe one day I'll take the step and convince Twilight to look into a spell, you know …" she grinned and gave him a nudge with her hoof, "because dreams are there to be followed."

He glanced at her for a long time, then nodded. "Eeyup!" It was rare for the rainbow mare to make so much sense, Big Macintosh thought to himself. Perhaps it was a sign.

***

Big Macintosh hesitated as he stood before the door to the Ponyville library. It had seemed so clear this morning. After pondering for a while on Rainbow Dash's words of the previous night he had made the decision to seek out Twilight, but could he really go through with it? He lowered his hoof again, settling it back down on the ground and glanced over his shoulder at the doll riding along on his back. The old thing looked back at him with its beady, unblinking eyes. There was a certainty in those eyes, their unchanging gaze inspired determination in the big stallion's heart and with renewed purpose he lifted his hoof once more to give the door to the library a firm rapping.

Twilight's voice was heard clearly through the door. "Spike! Could you get that, please?"

There was a bit of shuffling before the door opened and Twilight's young assistant looked out at him. "Yes? Oh, hey Big Macintosh. You here to see Twilight?"

Big Macintosh nodded. "Eeyup. If she ain't too busy."

The young dragon paused and glanced over his shoulder. "Well, perhaps I could help? You need a book or something? I'm the one who always gets them for Twilight anyway," he said proudly.

The big red stallion shook his mighty head. "Nnnope. I would like to speak with Twilight … in private."

Spike grumbled and called for Twilight before disappearing up the stairs. Big Macintosh stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He looked around at all the books and shelves. It wasn't often he came to the library, even his sister only came here because of Twilight. He randomly picked a book from a nearby shelf and examined the cover. "Contemporary Magic Analysis" the title read boldly. Flipping to a random page Big Macintosh gazed at the tight script and arcane symbols.

He smiled as his imagination took over, whisking away the dreary drapery of the real world to make way for the fantasy. "From careful analysis we show that the common Come to Life spell does not satisfy the conditions of Marera's theorem," the distinguished old scholar spoke to his eager student, the young but brilliant miss Smartypants who was taking copious notes in her little notebook, "and in fact produces undefined results for some objects within its domain."

He was broken out of his dream by Twilight's friendly voice behind him. "A fascinating topic, isn't it? If you wish a more rigorous examination I would highly recommend some of Coltshy's original work," the lavender unicorn rambled on as she pulled out an old book from the shelf. "Contemporary is fine, but you can't go wrong with the classics, as I always say."

Seeing Big Macintosh's face, Twilight's own lit up in realization followed by disappointment. "Oh, you're not here about magical theory. I'm sorry, I should have known you weren't … well, since you're not a unicorn." She shuffled her hooves a bit, clearly sad that he wasn't going to discuss the esoteric details of magic with her. "Not that that ever has to stop you, of course! You'd be surprised how many non-unicorns study the theory. Why, Starswirl the Bearded was an earth pony too and one of the great masters of the pre-classical era. His work on the theory of magic led to the development of many unique and diverse spells that would have gone unknown otherwise." Noticing the patient but increasingly blank look of the large stallion, Twilight coughed and blushed. "Sorry, I get carried away. What can I do for you today, then?"

Big Macintosh decided to be blunt and get straight to the point. He needed to get this out, and he had never been one to stall anyway. He took a long breath to gather his nerves before speaking. "I was wondering if you could turn me into a puppet."

"Well, I … what?" Twilight looked up at him with a look of mixed confusion and concern. "Turn you into a … puppet?"

"Eeyup. Like miss Smartypants here." He gave the doll on his back a nudge with his head.

"And, er, why would you want that?" Twilight was obviously not grasping the request.

"It's what I've always wanted to be. I wish I was a puppet," the big stallion said plainly. He wasn't one to meander around the point, even if he felt very uncomfortable talking about it. "It feels right."

Twilight examined him with a worried look. "I see. I think perhaps I know what your problem is, Big Macintosh. I would be happy to help you."

Big Macintosh followed her with his eyes as she walked around him with a scrutinizing gaze. He wasn't exactly sure of her choice of words. "My … problem? That I'm not a puppet?"

Twilight smiled sympathetically. "I'm really sorry, Big Macintosh. It appears that you are suffering from lingering effects of Discord's manipulations, or perhaps of my own Want It, Need It spell." She looked somewhat ashamed at the mention of that whole incident, even Big Macintosh knew that the princess had been tough on Twilight for it. "It could even be a combination. Magic sometimes has unexpected results when mixed, and Discord's magic was, of course, pretty much by definition unpredictable. But don't worry, I promise I'll find a way to cure you of these … delusions. If nothing else I am certain the princess will know of a way to help you, if my own studies should fail."

Big Macintosh stared at the unicorn as she scrutinized him, supposedly looking for some lingering magic. "I am not joking, and I am not insane."

"Oh, I know. And trust me, I am terribly sorry if my magic has caused you such problems. I promise I shall make it up to you, you'll be back to your good old self in no time."

"I am my old self, and I don't want it. I want to be a puppet. A puppet, not a pony!" Big Macintosh felt himself growing frustrated at the lack of understanding. Why couldn't she understand? He was speaking plainly was he not?

Twilight bit her lip. "I'm … sorry, Big Macintosh. I can only imagine the kind of confusion you're going through. But even if I could it would not be ethical to turn a pony into a puppet, even temporarily. The possibility, however small, of permanent damage, both physically and emotionally … No, I'm sorry."

Big Macintosh sighed and turned around. "Sorry for taking your time, then," he drawled.

Twilight rushed in front of him, pushing him back. "Oh my … Please, you are not well. I don't know what effect Discord or my spell might have had on you, but it is imperative that we find out so that we can prevent any further complications."

"But …" Big Macintosh began, but was cut off.

"Don't worry, I will help you. Now just stay here, don't go, I need to find a book … SPIKE!" Twilight turned and began scanning the shelves for some book. Seeing his chance, Big Macintosh bolted out through the door and galloped down the street, away from the library and the crazy unicorn. He felt terrible. He had hoped Twilight would understand, that she would help him fulfill his dream. Instead she thought he was just making it up.

Big Macintosh ran. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he needed to be away from Ponyville, away from all the ponies looking at him, away from all the ponies who couldn't see him as anything but another pony.

***

He slowed down and trotted along a lonely road outside Ponyville, walking for a bit before stopping to sit down under a tree by the side of the road. Out here the world was quiet, out here he could sit and just be, without having to be anything. He leaned back against the tree and looked up at the sky. Was it really so odd that he wanted to be a puppet, not a pony? And if Twilight wouldn't help him, who would?

His thoughts were disturbed by a sound some distance away. His ears perked up as he listened. Somewhere somepony was complaining loudly to themselves.

"Stupid wagon, stupid ditch, stupid wagon getting stuck in stupid ditch! Stupid Twilight Sparkle who would just lift the stupid thing out of there with her stupid magic! Oh how she would gloat if she was here now!"

Big Macintosh got up and followed the voice. Coming over a small hill he saw a lonely unicorn trying to get a large wagon out of the ditch all by herself, a hopeless task it seemed. Her azure coat was muddy and her nearly white mane a mess from the frantic work. She didn't notice Big Macintosh as he walked up behind her.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that you get free this instant, you stupid wagon!" She cried in frustration and bucked the wagon, to which it remained completely unmoved.

Big Macintosh cleared his throat a little. "You need any help there, ma'am?"

Trixie, which seemed to be her name, jumped and spun around. "Ah!" Self-conscious about her display of surprise, the unicorn quickly switched tone. "Didn't somepony ever tell you not to sneak up on ponies, hmm? No matter," she gave the stallion an appraising look, "you appear capable. The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that you get her wagon out of this ditch for her. Perhaps she could be convinced to …" she looked him over again, smiling, "reward such a handsome pony for the trouble."

"Eeyup," the stallion said, ignoring the friendly wink, and took quick stock of the wagon. The unicorn watched hopefully as he walked around the carriage and gave it a good push, his muscles flexing as he put all his strength behind it. The wagon gave a little, then began slowly rolling back out on the road.

"Yes, yes, that's the stuff!" Trixie cheered as Big Macintosh pushed the heavy wagon free of the ditch. "My, you are a strong one." She grinned. "A proper stallion aren't you? Not like those sops Trixie paid back in Hoofington to pull the thing, if she ever see those two again …" Big Macintosh stopped the wagon and wiped his brow. Trixie winked at him. "So how can the Great and Powerful Trixie reward you? Perhaps you would like to come in for a drink, hmm?"

"Nnnope," he drawled and turned to walk back the way he came. The last thing he wanted was company right now.

Trixie watched him for a moment, before rushing after him. "Wait, don't go. Surely there is something … anything that Trixie can offer as thanks?" She puffed herself up a little. "It is not often that she offers such, and certainly not to anypony, you should know."

"You wouldn't understand," he said plainly, keeping his pace and hoping the stranger would leave him be so he could return to brooding under a tree.

"Oh? Perhaps Trixie did not introduce herself properly? It is not for nothing that she is called the Great and Powerful Trixie. Whatever your problem, good sir, Trixie will know the cure!"

"Nnnope! I need no cure," he said, holding back his annoyance at the persistent mare. "Twilight Sparkle didn't understand either." There was silence at last. Big Macintosh drew a slight breath of relief at the peace, but it was short-lived.

Trixie stormed past him and stopped in front of him, eyes wide and insistent. "Wait! Twilight Sparkle, from Ponyville? She couldn't help you?" Trixie looked at him intently. "Then the Great and Powerful Trixie will do it! Whatever it is, whatever Twilight couldn't do for you, Trixie will surely do it! Just ask, and she will do it, and you'd better not doubt it!"

Big Macintosh stared at the crazy mare, then sighed. "Can you make me a puppet?"

Trixie blinked, then thought a bit. "Is that all? Trixie can … can make you a puppet, sure. She already has a few in her wagon—for her shows you understand, purely for show! Maybe you'd like one of those? It would be a small thing. Trixie would give you one gladly."

The big red stallion shook his big red head. "Nnnope, I want you to turn me into a puppet."

Trixie looked utterly lost now. "You want me to … why would you want to …?"

Big Macintosh sighed. "Sorry for your time, miss," he said and walked past Trixie. Maybe now he could get some peace and quiet to mull things over. It was certainly proving a challenge.

"No, wait!" Trixie called, a hint of desperation in her voice. "I'll do it! I mean … the Great and Powerful Trixie will do what Twilight Sparkle could not. The Great and Powerful Trixie promises to turn you into a puppet, because she can!" Big Macintosh turned around to see if she was joking, but Trixie looked serious. "Come back tomorrow, Trixie will be here."

Big Macintosh smiled. "Eeyup!"

***

The farm was quiet as he returned, stepping carefully to not alert anypony. They were probably worried, but he could explain it all tomorrow. He just hoped they would accept his wish. He continued up the path and through the gate, but stopped when he spotted a familiar pony sitting outside the barn, leaning against the wall under the shadow of her hat.

Applejack lifted her head and pushed the hat up to look at him. "Ah was gettin' worried, big brother, ah thought ya ran off there. Very unlike ya."

"Nnnope," Big Macintosh said, trying to avoid getting into further discussion of the topic.

Applejack stood up. "Well, that's good an' all, 'cause I spoke to Twilight and she was mighty worried for ya too. We also had a little talk with Rainbow Dash, an' she was real sorry for givin' ya such ideas, ain't that right RD?"

Big Macintosh turned to look at the rainbow mare who had been standing nearby without him noticing. She scraped the ground with one hoof, looking down in shame, "Yeah … yeah, I'm really sorry. I thought we, you know, were talking about something else. But, you know …"

"She thinks ya should let Twilight help ya, so ya can forget these silly ideas, ain't that right?"

Rainbow Dash looked down and nodded quietly.

Big Macintosh glared at his sister. "I don't need no 'cure', and that's that!" With that said he trotted past her towards the barn.

"Ah'm sorry, big brother." Before he could react to what was going on, Applejack had launched herself at him, trying to tackle him. "It's for your own best. Twilight, quick, Ah got him!"

Twilight appeared in a flash before him and lowered her horn towards him as he fought with Applejack. He wasn't sure where this was going, but he knew for sure he wanted none of it. "Nnnope!" He roared and kicked off Applejack before trampling over a surprised Twilight. He could hear them calling angrily for Rainbow Dash behind him as he ran, jumping over the fence to the apple orchard. He knew he couldn't outrun them, but maybe he could lose them among all the trees.

A rainbow blur hit the ground in front of him like a prismatic bolt of lightning from the sky. "Run north!" Rainbow Dash said quickly. "I'll lead them the other way. Go!" And with that the rainbow mare was gone again. Not stopping to wonder at the unexpected aid, Big Macintosh turned and galloped north among the densely growing trees.

He didn't stop until he could no longer see the farm behind him or hear the distant calls of his name.

***

"Good, you are here. Trixie was getting worried you wouldn't show up, but Trixie promised she would turn you into a puppet, and Trixie is a mare of her word. She has prepared and soon she shall show that obnoxious little Twilight who is the better unicorn, oh yes!"

Big Macintosh shook his head heavily. "Nnnope, Twilight can't know. She doesn't understand."

Trixie frowned. "You're asking an awful lot now, big guy. The Great and Powerful Trixie was looking forward to showing up Twilight Sparkle. What is in it for her now if you won't let her do that?"

Big Macintosh sighed. "You promised. And I helped with your wagon."

Trixie scrunched up her face. "Trixie did, and so you did." She looked him over thoughtfully. "Trixie thinks it is a great shame to turn such a strong and handsome stallion into a mere puppet, but she did promise." She tilted her head as she pondered, muttering to herself. "Perhaps Trixie could show you off in her show, yes … yes," she lit up. "Trixie will grant your wish, and in return she shall be your new mistress. Together we shall tour the lands and tell such grand stories, of the Great and Powerful Trixie and her enchanted puppet."

Big Macintosh nodded vigorously at the prospect of finally being a real puppet in a real puppet show. Oh the lives he would live and stories he would tell.

"Good. Good!" Trixie chuckled with glee, as she moved him into place. "You stand there, stand very still and be quiet. This will require Trixie's full attention. Ready, big guy?"

"Eeyup!" Big Macintosh felt ecstatic but stood as still and quiet as only he could. Trixie's horn glowed, the light quickly increasing in intensity as the stallion felt himself lifted into the air. Soon … soon his greatest dream would come true. Soon he would finally become what he had always dreamed of. A deep smile spread across his face as he embraced his destiny.

Trixie clenched her teeth in an expression of intense concentration, tiny beads of sweat forming on her brow as the magic coursing through her grew to new heights. This was it, her greatest moment, outshining that little miss know-it-all! "You may have defeated an Ursa Minor, but I turned a pony into a puppet. A real puppet! Hahah!"

Trixie collapsed with a cry of success. She had done it!

***

"Trixie is pleased, my puppet!" Trixie laughed as she held up the wooden stallion by its threads. "All stallions should be as willing to please their mistress, don't you agree?" The puppet nodded enthusiastically. "Good! We'll make a fine pair, my puppet. A fine pair indeed! And Equestria, neigh the very world, will bow down before us in praise and adoration!"

A running of hooves on the road behind her made Trixie turn around with an annoyed expression. "What now? Trixie is not in the mood to be disturbed, she is far too busy being pleased with herself!" She frowned as a purple unicorn came running down the road and stopped when she saw Trixie.

"Greetings friend, have you seen …" The unicorn broke off as she looked closer at the pony in front of her. "Oh, it's you, Trixie … hello." She frowned a little. "Have you seen a big red stallion around here? He ran away and we're very concerned for his well-being."

Trixie quickly hid the puppet behind her and straightened up, puffing out her chest and giving Twilight a haughty gaze. "The Great and Powerful Trixie knows not of what you speak, Twilight Sparkle. Now run along, Trixie requires peace and quiet so she can practice her amazing magic without your pointless  distractions."

Twilight looked at her, before finally shaking her head. "Right. If you do see him please tell him we're sorry and want him to come back." Without wasting any further time, Twilight galloped off down the road.

Trixie smirked as she watched her nemesis run off without a clue of what had transpired. "You know, my puppet, Trixie thinks it is even more satisfying to leave the foal in ignorance than to show her up in front of everypony. She will never know what Trixie knows. Poor ignorant Twilight," she said as she stepped inside her wagon with Big Macintosh dangling in his threads behind her.